In the days before Amazon, I made an on-line purchase and had the product delivered via a parcel service. The electronic receipt included a link that allowed you to track the shipping progress. In addition to knowing the anticipated delivery day, I could also follow the "tracking details" of its arrival and departure at each hub on the journey to its final destination.
While the concept of having precise and specific delivery information seems like it would have been helpful, I actually found myself distracted by it. Instead of being content knowing that my order was another step closer to delivery, each package scan prompted questions: How did my package get there so fast? Why did it sit for so long at that location? Why is it going to take another three days to get to me when it is practically in my backyard right now?
As I reflected on my preoccupation with the timing of this promised arrival, the Lord gently revealed the presence of discontent in my own heart about God's timing and fulfillment of promises in my faith journey. That painful revelation triggered a simple prayer springing from the Psalmist's cry in 139:23-24. "God, I invite your searching gaze into my heart. Examine me through and through; find out everything that may be hidden within me. Put me to the test and sift through all my anxious cares. See if there is any path of pain I’m walking on, and lead me back to your glorious, everlasting ways - the path that brings me back to you."
In mercy, God answered that prayer by gently exposing residue of discouragement about yet-to-be fulfilled promises I felt He had spoken to me. He tenderly identified the fact that I was frustrated with His seeming unwillingness to respond to my fleshly demands for "tracking details" with anything more than a gently spoken, "Trust Me." Truth be told, in the void of intimacy, God's "Trust Me,"felt insufficient.
Was God mad at me? No. Was He irritated with me? Absolutely not. Did He love me enough to reveal things that were cluttering my heart and mind and hindering deeper intimacy with Him? Yes, indeed.
Perhaps as you have read this blog, you recognize that you have been carrying disappointment, discouragement, or even frustration with God's delivery fulfillment. Would you receive this as an invitation to acknowledge what you have been feeling to the One who already knows your heart? Why not welcome Him into the place of unanswered questions? Sit with Him in your dis-ease and hear His heart toward you.
Much like God extended grace to Habakkuk waiting for fulfillment of the vision, I believe He says to you today, "Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come" (Habakkuk 2:3). For indeed, "Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?" (Numbers 23:19).
Rest in the assurance, Beloved one, that at the end of this journey of faith, you will echo the words of Joshua, "Know in all your hearts and in all your souls that not one thing has failed of all the good things which the Lord your God promised concerning you. All have come to pass for you; not one thing of them has failed" (Joshua 23:14). Amen.
As you sit with God and reflect on your faith journey, perhaps this song entitled "Enough" will give voice to your prayers. Indeed, God is more than enough for any void you may be sensing in your life.
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